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Some people have no lives, right? That has to be true. Otherwise, how the hell do you explain why one Ms. Jasmine Toliver decided to create a petition on Change.org titled "Comb Blue Ivy's Hair?" Yes, people, she's serious. Her petition reads:
As a woman who understands the importance of hair care, it’s disturbing to watch a child suffering from the lack of hair moisture. The parents of Blue Ivy, Sean Carter A.K.A Jay-Z and Beyoncé, has [sic] failed at numerous attempts of doing Blue Ivy Hair [sic]. This matter has escalated to the child developing matted dreads and lint balls. Please let’s get the word out to properly care for Blue Ivy hair [sic].
Ridiculous for a million and one reasons. Seriously. A) who even are you?, B) it's not your damn child, C) it's not your damn child!, D) it's not your damn child!!, E) your spelling and grammar are each atrocious, and F) it's not your damn child!!! Goodness. What's more, the petition, which has a goal of 2,500 signatures, has already reached an absurd 2,000.
Who is signing this? Do I have permission to smack some sense into you? The world be a much, much better place is people could just learn to mind their own business and have their own priorities. I guarantee you that if Ms. Toliver took my advice, this petition wouldn't exist in the first place!
As expected, though, she's already released a Facebook message calling the entire thing a "joke" because, duh, bitches can't take the heat, mane!
Woman, can I just tell you that you're ridiculous? Are you aware of that? Are you also aware of the fact that you're bullying a 2 year old for something that is entirely out of her control? Are you? That apology is some serious fufu shit. Nobody asked you if you were black! Nobody asked you anything about your bloodline! Nobody asked you anything about your big lips and brown skin! So, actually, you're the one who can have a seat. Please and thank you.
Anyway, Beyoncé and Jay Z already win this whole stupid thing because, duh, they're Beyoncé and Jay Z. So that's that, I guess. Poor Blue Ivy, though...imagine how you'd feel if someone said all those things about your hair! You're a beautiful girl, and there's not a thing wrong with your hair, so keep doing you, Blue Ivy!